The Hollow pt 1


Does hollow always mean something is missing? By definition it means empty space inside, And it also means without meaning. So if a person feels within, a hollow space it has to mean something needs to fill it. Maybe it is purpose or an action like the thrill of the chase, Or could it instead... Continue Reading →

Worthy To What Is Mine


Hollow is a good word, but empty is better. No matter what I do to fill my cup, there is a hole at the bottom that almost instantly drains. Uh oh, this one is not going to rhyme. My soul is so fucking strained! I cannot think anymore Without turning a good thing negative. The... Continue Reading →

Too Familiar


I told myself no! Yet my glass refills I hid the blades yet my skin still bleeds. No matter the thought my actions driven by feels. The destruction and chaos crave these feeds. It does not matter who comes, when it matters I will be left. Left to my own defenses, which have proven weak.... Continue Reading →

What now?


My chest compressed, I cannot inhale deep enough. My throat stricken, the shirt collar is nowhere near. My thoughts are broken, traversing them is rough. I cannot breathe with the fear That grips my neck and taints my thoughts. It is a new fear, not of the external, this is becoming clear. As things outwardly... Continue Reading →

Inside


It's too loud in here inside my head. Coming undone is the nicest way to put it. My wife coming home thinking I was dead. What am I doing? Watching each hit Beat me deep into the unforgiving ground. Watching myself dive further into the darkest pit. I keep thinking I can turn this around,... Continue Reading →

Prove Myself Wrong


Right through the heart with the sharpest blade The pain's burst disperses, yet does not fade. The shock, breathing is hard to come. You say pause, yet I hear done. It's an echo of the unlearned parable. The deafening ring is unbearable. The beat of a broken heart, Once again tearing apart. The blanket of... Continue Reading →

Another


I did not think that I was capable and in the moment I had decided not to tell, but it seems that fate had already seemed it inescapable. I needed to tell you one way or another and from me it did expel. Not as glamorously as I had practiced. Not as detailed as it... Continue Reading →

From the Past


The final distrust stands now, Out from the void, as we traverse the shadow, 15 years later, in front of me. Wow! What I am feeling? I don't know. The past comes to haunt me And less complicated I cannot show. I run to the safety of my tear watered tree. I cannot have you... Continue Reading →

Weary


There is a stench! Oh wait, that's me, I haven't showered in three days. There's a sting, oh wait, that's me Reverting to unhealthy ways. A daze, I sit, with apathetic wonder. Profound, I think not, a lame and toxic pity My hope, my will, my existance is asunder. Where's faith, resilience, where's the power... Continue Reading →

A Moment


The sun shines brightly over the salt river. Men, women, and children floating along its current. Laughing, eating, drinking, enjoying the warm weather. Screaming, holding on tight through the occasional torrent. It's a great escape from one's own torment. A diversion that makes life seem relatively normal. No one can tell that my scream is... Continue Reading →

So It Seeps


A downpour of everything I abhor. The burn, the incessant sting at every turn. I cannot predict it I cannot escape it A violent swirl, so nauseating, I need to hurl. The speed, the strength, a warning I did not heed. I cannot change it. I cannot replace it. It's an internal storm, outside my... Continue Reading →

You Are Right


You are right I don't do anything for you. These past three years I have supported you. You are right, I don't do anything for you. I've improved my drive and push to be better person. You are right, I don't do anything for you. I sacrifice my comfort, so you can have it. You... Continue Reading →

Forest


I am driving lost along the road. My phone is dead. My fuel is nearly empty. The sun has already set and I am losing the remaining light.I pull over onto a dirt road that seems charming enough and proceed on foot. Perhaps I can find some help.The dark came quickly and the moon was... Continue Reading →

A Message


I look out the window and what do I see, But black bird staring back at me. There is something in his beak A pebble from what I can see, What could it mean? I do think. A message it seems, Something meant for me. But the time to decipher I do not have, so... Continue Reading →

Play


It's mornings like this That make me question.... Question, the validity of this play. It's all gone wrong This improv This seemingly senseless act is far too long. The record is broken. The actors are drained. The lines too, are over-spoken. Where is this leading? What does it mean? Why is it so impeding? "Yes,... Continue Reading →

Internalized Anger


It crawls up my spine trying to seep through my skin. I become rigid, inflexible, and my temperature rises. I feel too big for my body and I feel a burst rising within. Everything tightens and my jaw clenches, teeth grinding. Deliberately, my head turns horizontally emitting a pop. It takes everything in me to... Continue Reading →

I Am Tired, I Want, I Need


I am tired of the back and forth pursuit. I am tired of the up and down, side to side motion. I am tired of living as the perfected character of repute. I want to stay here and fall into infinity. I want to fall into the nothingness I pursue. I want to escape from... Continue Reading →

The Call


I am not okay, it's all too much right now. "You have to take care of yourself." Yeah, I don't have time I don't know how. "You don't want to wait until it is too late" Isn't it already though? I am not okay and I don't know what to do. This is the part... Continue Reading →

I Am My Father’s Daughter


I am my father's daughter. In his footsteps I follow; from a vessel I cannot fill, Unto others I pour. I am my father's daughter. In his image I have been created. For myself I cannot care for, As for others I am able. I am father's daughter. From his temper to his kindness. Another... Continue Reading →

I


I found this while cleaning out my garage while moving. It is dated 01/22/2018. I remember writing it, but I don't know if I ever added it anywhere, so it may already be here or maybe it isn't. Either way I felt the need to put it here. I breathe, I shake, I tremble For... Continue Reading →

Condemn -ed


They say emotions have a location in parts of the body and that may be true, then again my emotions are a constant vibration never ceasing as a amalgamated retinue. Currently my breath is difficult to come Compressed and deserted here with no one. To this rising emotion I am trying not to succumb, But... Continue Reading →

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